“The thousand injuries of Fortunato I had borne as I best could, but
when he ventured upon insult I vowed revenge.”
- Edgar Allan Poe, The Cask of Amontillado
Yes, this is a quote for a lesser known Poe story, but I remember the
plot so well after reading it in Freshman year English Lit. The quote fits with
the theme of the entire movie. I am happy to inform you all that myself and
Brian of Inglorious Blogsters have combined our witty banter for another joint
review. I will say that I do enjoy Poe’s writing and I feel like I am so very
sick and tired of hearing or seeing The Raven a million times and so many
adaptations I dislike it. I compare this story to Romeo & Juliet or Hamlet
for Shakespeare. Both men wrote many great things, but only a few are done so
many times you get sick of them.
Synopsis: Strange murders are
taking place in Baltimore, Maryland. Strange because they are reenactments of
murders in the drunk and egotistical Edgar Allan Poe’s stories. Inspector
Fields recruits Poe to help me find this murder or die trying.
Fallen
Bettie’s Review: Boy, where the hell do I begin… I guess I should start
with that I was very disappointed in this movie. I wanted to like it, but I
just could not. It reminded me of how crappy From Hell was and this played
right into that. A movie based loosely on facts, but mostly fiction. So I guess
you can see where this review is going… yet into the wine cellar and trapped
behind a brick wall.
Let’s start off by saying while John Cusack was decent, he looked like
any man in a Poe costume.
Exhibit A
Exhibit B
Does anyone
see any resemblance? I don’t and this was my main concern when I heard he was
casted. I just don’t see how he was a great Poe. I don’t know who could play
the role, but there was little about Cusack that was any resemblance of Poe.
How could they not get the facial hair right?!!
I was excited
to see other of Poe’s stories than The Raven. Like I said before I dislike that
story and not sure why the movie is called the Rave other than to get people to
understand it’s about Poe since all they know is that one story. I have always
loved The Masquerade of the Red Death. Vince Price did an amazing job in that
movie adaption. Which if you haven’t see it go rent it. They try to bring in
other of Poe’s great stories and did an okay job of it, but overall the movie a
lot of plot holes that at the end I was left with questioning what the point of
some of the things were. The best one was The Pit and the Pendulum. Best scene of the movie!
The whole
killer just was odd he had some of a backstory, weakly explained and then
mentioned that he was going to Paris to see Jules Vern made no sense. And don’t
get me started on the ending… either it was ended to leave the option open for
a sequel, which they better not do, or just wanted to add with a dramatic end. I even joking guessed who it was about 5
minutes before they reveal who it was.
There was
also one scene where a Rave is shoot and falls near Poe; I was waiting from him
to say, “Nevermore”. I would have busted out laughing because it seem like a
perfect scene to throw something stupid in. Of course they didn’t because this
is a serious movie.
So to give
you something positive about the movie, I know very little about the man
himself so I went to Poe Museum’s website http://www.poemuseum.org/index.php. How Poe died really was a mystery
and he had a long standing feud with Griswold. He also gave lectures and did
some of the other things they showed in the movie.
So overall I
say wait till this movie comes out on DVD so you don’t waste too much money or
skip it all together if you hated From Hell. Brian posed a very good question
to me after the movie. Which is worse Shark Night 3D or The Raven? It killed
me, but I had to go with The Rave. I wanted to like it as a fan of Poe’s work,
but it was just a sloppy mess.
So to quoth
the raven, “Nevermore”. And no more from
me… Until the next review.
Brian's Review:
Edgar Allen Poe is spinning in his
grave right now, one rotation for every ticket sale this movie rakes in. I went into this movie thinking that it could
actually be pretty decent. But then the
reviews came pouring in…and they were bad.
I knew I was going to need some help on this one, so I enlisted my good
friend Fallen over at “Fallen Bettie’s Horror House” to co-write the review
with me. Just a warning to all the kids,
my part of the review will probably contain some profanity, both mild and
extreme. Because this movie sucked –
oops, spoiler alert. I’ll put Fallen’s
part of the review in italics. I’ll have her go first, and then I’ll follow
up with my usual Good/Bad/Bottom Line format.
The Plot
The
story is set in 19th century Baltimore, where a string of murders is
occurring. The unique aspect that ties
all these crimes together is the fact that each murder scene is based on a
story by Edgar Allen Poe. A local
inspector enlists the help of the eccentric author (played by John Cusack) in
order to catch the killer. Things get
personal, however, when Poe’s fiancé is kidnapped by the killer. Now the local authorities, led by Poe for
some reason, are racing against the clock to save her life…and the life of who
knows how many more.
Brian – The Good
I honestly can’t think of much that I liked about this
movie. Like Fallen stated, I did like
the fact that they used quite a few of Poe’s stories, and not just the major
known ones. Speaking of Poe, I do have
to compliment the screenwriters on his use of vernacular. It reminded me a lot of V from V for Vendetta. Yeah that’s pretty much it for the good.
Brian – The Bad
Jesus Christ on a bicycle, CLOSE YOUR MOUTH JOHN
CUSACK!! It’s ironic – there’s a scene
where his character insults a man by calling him a “mouth-breather.” Um, hello?!
Take a look in the mirror, Fuckenstein!
Although I did enjoy the way Poe spoke in this movie, I feel like there
were two different screenwriters who turned in two separate drafts and then a
third party merged the two without the writers being any the wiser. I’ll give you two examples. There’s a point where Poe and the Inspector
are shouting to each other about something, and then there’s a dramatic clash
of lightning, and then a quick shot of (presumably) the killer standing outside
the house looking in. And then…a full
minute or two of the characters awkwardly looking around while one of them
shuts the drapes for some reason. It’s
as awkward to watch as I’m sure each actor felt. Another scene, which was supposed to be
serious, made me literally LOL. They are
searching for Poe’s fiancé, Emily, in some tunnels underneath the city. The plan is, the Inspector will blow a
whistle, signaling each of the searchers to call out “Emily!” and then wait a
few seconds for Emily to hopefully respond.
The problem with this scene is, when the Inspector is explaining the
plan, he gets to the part about the searchers shouting “Emily,” Poe emerges
from the darkness in the background and quite desperately shouts
“Emilyyyyyyyyyy!” as if to demonstrate.
The scene concludes with everyone looking at Poe as if he were a
lunatic. I was waiting for the Inspector
to say something like, “Thank you, Edgar, for that very boisterous
demonstration….” There’s quite a lot
more that’s broken with this movie, but I don’t want to repeat what Fallen
already went over.
Bottom Line
I stopped caring about the plot and the characters about
twenty minutes in. Not really a good
sign…. I’ll say this movie wasn’t as bad
as Wrath of the Titans, but it’s a
close second. It’s pretty bad to say
that The Three Stooges was a good
movie in comparison. Be like the
characters in The Masquerade of the Red
Death and lock yourself in your houses, away from this plague of a film. The only reason to see this shitload of fuck
would be to MST3K it, which is what I actually started doing in the theater!
FINAL VERDICT: SKIP IT!
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